T is For Timothy The Tapir Touting Troubadour

"I just love being a snowflake. We may not all be unique but I'll be damned if we're not fun!" --Timoteo

My name is Timothy but I go by T like the initial (/u/T_the_initial). I was born and raised in a rural Utah town and come from a long line of Mormons. My ancestors were among the first to be baptized. In fact, my great-great-great-great grandfather, Lyman R. Sherman, was responsible for burning down a printing press in Kirtland when dissenters sought to use the office in opposition to the church. Lyman loved the saints but was having trouble with his own discipleship in the church and wanted to know what his duty would be. The answer came through revelation given to Joseph Smith in 1835 and is recorded in section 108 of the Doctrine and Covenants.

According to Wilfred Woodruff, “Elder Sherman sung in the gift of tongues & proclaimed great & marvelous things while clothed upon by the power & spirit of God.” during the Kirtland Temple dedication (Dean C. Jessee, “The Kirtland Diary of Wilford Woodruff,” BYU Studies,vol. 12, no. 4 (1972), 382. The meeting was held on January 8, 1837.) Lyman was later called to be an apostle but died before he heard the news.

Delcena Didamia Johnson was my great-great-great-great grandmother and was married to Lyman. After Lyman died, Delcena was married to Joseph Smith as his 14th plural wife. She died shortly after arriving in Salt Lake City in 1854.

I am the first member of my immediate family to leave the Church since 1832. I received my resignation letter on March 23, 2015 although I had been mentally out since my mission (2005-2007 Missouri St. Louis Mission). The last 6 months of my mission I read Rough Stone Rolling by Richard Lyman Bushman and realized the so-called Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was not true.

Due to family and other social pressures, I continued to pretend and eventually married in the temple. After almost 4 years we divorced and I decided I wasn’t going to pretend anymore. I joined /r/exmormon in 2012 but lurked for years. About 4 months ago my last TBM friend cut me off because I shared with him how I thought it was weird for my wife’s work to share a quote from Spencer W. Kimball in a meeting. He blew up and told me that my wife is overly sensitive and needs to grow some “tough skin.” After this occurred, I realized I needed to find some new friends who understood what I was going through, so I started to become more active on /r/exmormon.

I have developed many friendships on /r/exmormon but quickly noticed as I got more involved that there were an alarming number of posts of people needing help and reaching out. Around this same time, /u/Hiking1950 posted and asked for a public list of volunteers. I really liked the idea of having a list so we could combine all of our resources and quickly help people who are in need. Three months ago, I sent /u/Hiking1950 a PM (private/personal message; in case you're older than dirt but somehow managed to make it here anyway) about someone who was feeling suicidal and the rest is history. We started working together and I was added as a mod on /r/TapirSignal shortly after. In the past few months, I have been amazed at how the exmormon community has rallied together to help people in need.

TapirSignal has helped me to keep the parts of my religion that I valued the most. Being part of a community that serves other people in need is something I loved about being a Mormon. TapirSignal has given me that community and the opportunity to help people. I have made some amazing friendships in the Mod group as well as with volunteers and those that reach out for help. The exmormon world is so unique and varied.

I really enjoy coming up with creative solutions to problems. Each TapirSignal case is like an intricate puzzle. Since every case is different, there are so many individual pieces that need to come together before we can see the bigger picture. Only then can I understand how to best help someone who is suffering. I love to decipher everyone’s individual needs and circumstances in order to build a solution, piece by piece. As the TapirSignal network continues to expand, our group becomes better equipped to help the exreligious community. Everyone that volunteers brings something to the table, whether it’s a unique location or new perspective. It is a very challenging and rewarding thing to be a part of.

After 183 years of family loyalty to the Mormon Church I have broken that loyalty and am going to be loyal to another community, the exreligious community. Providing a place where people can find a support and community outside of close religious circles is what makes me proud to be a part of TapirSignal.

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If you are feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-784-2433.

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