Tapirs Abound

We have to apologize this week because we don't have our regular blog post this week, but enjoy some photos of our favorite horses... Tapirs!

Next week we'll be back with our regularly scheduled program and find out if Sparlock will be saved by his loyal tapir or if they'll both meet their untimely demise! Until then, enjoy the horse pics.

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If you are in need of help, you can reach us here.

If you are feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-784-2433.

If you are LGBT+ and need to talk, please contact the LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 or find them online here.

Know you are safe and among friends and we will do whatever we can to help.

Lastly, if you would like to be involved or volunteer, you can reach out to us here.

T is For Timothy The Tapir Touting Troubadour

"I just love being a snowflake. We may not all be unique but I'll be damned if we're not fun!" --Timoteo

My name is Timothy but I go by T like the initial (/u/T_the_initial). I was born and raised in a rural Utah town and come from a long line of Mormons. My ancestors were among the first to be baptized. In fact, my great-great-great-great grandfather, Lyman R. Sherman, was responsible for burning down a printing press in Kirtland when dissenters sought to use the office in opposition to the church. Lyman loved the saints but was having trouble with his own discipleship in the church and wanted to know what his duty would be. The answer came through revelation given to Joseph Smith in 1835 and is recorded in section 108 of the Doctrine and Covenants.

According to Wilfred Woodruff, “Elder Sherman sung in the gift of tongues & proclaimed great & marvelous things while clothed upon by the power & spirit of God.” during the Kirtland Temple dedication (Dean C. Jessee, “The Kirtland Diary of Wilford Woodruff,” BYU Studies,vol. 12, no. 4 (1972), 382. The meeting was held on January 8, 1837.) Lyman was later called to be an apostle but died before he heard the news.

Delcena Didamia Johnson was my great-great-great-great grandmother and was married to Lyman. After Lyman died, Delcena was married to Joseph Smith as his 14th plural wife. She died shortly after arriving in Salt Lake City in 1854.

I am the first member of my immediate family to leave the Church since 1832. I received my resignation letter on March 23, 2015 although I had been mentally out since my mission (2005-2007 Missouri St. Louis Mission). The last 6 months of my mission I read Rough Stone Rolling by Richard Lyman Bushman and realized the so-called Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was not true.

Due to family and other social pressures, I continued to pretend and eventually married in the temple. After almost 4 years we divorced and I decided I wasn’t going to pretend anymore. I joined /r/exmormon in 2012 but lurked for years. About 4 months ago my last TBM friend cut me off because I shared with him how I thought it was weird for my wife’s work to share a quote from Spencer W. Kimball in a meeting. He blew up and told me that my wife is overly sensitive and needs to grow some “tough skin.” After this occurred, I realized I needed to find some new friends who understood what I was going through, so I started to become more active on /r/exmormon.

I have developed many friendships on /r/exmormon but quickly noticed as I got more involved that there were an alarming number of posts of people needing help and reaching out. Around this same time, /u/Hiking1950 posted and asked for a public list of volunteers. I really liked the idea of having a list so we could combine all of our resources and quickly help people who are in need. Three months ago, I sent /u/Hiking1950 a PM (private/personal message; in case you're older than dirt but somehow managed to make it here anyway) about someone who was feeling suicidal and the rest is history. We started working together and I was added as a mod on /r/TapirSignal shortly after. In the past few months, I have been amazed at how the exmormon community has rallied together to help people in need.

TapirSignal has helped me to keep the parts of my religion that I valued the most. Being part of a community that serves other people in need is something I loved about being a Mormon. TapirSignal has given me that community and the opportunity to help people. I have made some amazing friendships in the Mod group as well as with volunteers and those that reach out for help. The exmormon world is so unique and varied.

I really enjoy coming up with creative solutions to problems. Each TapirSignal case is like an intricate puzzle. Since every case is different, there are so many individual pieces that need to come together before we can see the bigger picture. Only then can I understand how to best help someone who is suffering. I love to decipher everyone’s individual needs and circumstances in order to build a solution, piece by piece. As the TapirSignal network continues to expand, our group becomes better equipped to help the exreligious community. Everyone that volunteers brings something to the table, whether it’s a unique location or new perspective. It is a very challenging and rewarding thing to be a part of.

After 183 years of family loyalty to the Mormon Church I have broken that loyalty and am going to be loyal to another community, the exreligious community. Providing a place where people can find a support and community outside of close religious circles is what makes me proud to be a part of TapirSignal.

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If you are in need of help, you can reach us here.

If you are feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-784-2433.

If you are LGBT+ and need to talk, please contact the LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 or find them online here.

Know you are safe and among friends and we will do whatever we can to help.

Lastly, if you would like to be involved or volunteer, you can reach out to us here.

Ruminating Over a Roasted Tapir

“I may listen to Pop music but that doesn't mean I can't be a good person still.'" --Hiking1950

I get asked this question from time to time: “What led you to create the Tapir Signal?” Here is my story.

About four months ago, I came across a post on /r/exmormon by a 25-year-old woman stating that she was trying to leave the church. She lived in Utah and didn’t have any money or a job, was depressed, and needed help. So I decided to create a list of a few volunteers from /r/exmormon who would be willing to help out in such situations. I planned to present the list to FearlessFixxer after his MormonLeaks website debut. Out of nowhere, around twenty people volunteered to help out any way they could.

So I created a post on behalf of the young woman who had sought help on /r/exmormon. In it I tagged all the volunteers and asked if we could help her out. Within an hour, several people had reached out to the user and had given her food and money. It was amazing to see.

I then came up with the idea of forming an informal public volunteer list that we could use to tag people when others need help. I asked for volunteers and the list just exploded. Every time I posted about this list, more and more people volunteered to help out in any way they could. The list took a completely new direction. Instead of a few people I could send to FearlessFixxer to help run the Underground Handcart Company (UHC), I ended up with around sixty people from all over the place volunteering food, shelter, money, a phone to text in an emergency, emotional support, etc.

A young couple was looking for a temporary place to stay until they could find permanent housing. Their parents said refused them shelter because they weren’t married. So I sent out an “Exmormon Bat Signal” to the volunteers and within a couple of hours, we had a hotel owner in the same town as the couple who helped them out with the temporary housing. Once again, it was amazing to see such a quick and generous gesture from a random stranger.

Since we joke about tapirs a lot on /r/exmormon a couple of people had jokingly posted a tapir-like bat signal graphic. Both of them were very cool, so I changed the “Exmormon Bat Signal” to the “Official Tapir Signal.” We link to this graphic every time we post and ask for help.

Shortly after that, /u/hasbrochem reached out to me and offered to help out. He’s very good with computers and programming (Editors Note: he's mediocre at best), so he created a Reddit bot that messages all of the volunteers when we post a Tapir Signal. The bot lets them know of the situation and points them to the person that needs support. /u/t_the_initial also reached out to me personally around the same time and offered to help take on the task of contacting people needing help, following up with them, vetting people who could potentially help out, etc. /u/hasbrochem and /u/t_the_initial will share their stories in future posts.

I continue to be involved with the Tapir Signal crew because I have seen how many times it has helped people out in a short amount of time. I’ve personally been told that people who have reached out in response to the Tapir Signal have saved several people’s lives. We have found temporary housing for people (also see here and here). We have provided a few days’ food for someone who couldn’t afford it. We have helped find jobs for people. We have even helped someone move from state to state. All of these things were accomplished through our volunteer network. That is why I do it: to give back to the exMormon community and help out the only way I know how… anonymously, online!

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If you are in need of help, you can reach us here.

If you are feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-784-2433.

If you are LGBT+ and need to talk, please contact the LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 or find them online here.

Know you are safe and among friends and we will do whatever we can to help.

Lastly, if you would like to be involved or volunteer, you can reach out to us here.

Tapirmon: Devourer of Nightmares

In Chinese and Japanese folklore there are tales of a creature called the Baku, a chimera composed of the body of a bear, the tusks and trunk of an elephant, the paws of a tiger, the tail of a cow/ox, and the eyes of a rhinoceros. It was made from the leftover pieces after all the other animals had been created. This magical guardian could be called upon in the dark hours of the night to devour and forever destroy nightmares and terrors, protecting children and adults alike. Amulets and talismans made in its form were also said to be good luck and used to ward off evil.

While the Baku is a mythical creation, the character for the Baku (獏 or 貘) is the same Japanese name for a real animal, the tapir.

Much like the Baku, the Tapir Signal is an amalgamation of people, all bringing their individual skills, talents, and resources to bear in our goal to help those who stand in need. While our mascot is not the prettiest of creatures, we work hard to make sure that we can ward off the nightmares engulfing those who call out.

Unlike a god who some may say:

“[Is] people tired. He’s blessing tired. He’s parable tired. He’s sermon tired. Everywhere he goes he’s tired. It’s people, people, people, problems, problems, problems – I can’t walk, I can’t see, I can’t hear, bless my child, bless my father, heal my wounds. He’s exhausted. At least he has to be to be sleeping through this storm...”

we do not sleep through the storm. When you scream into the void, we answer back. We will not leave you alone. The major difference between us and the Baku, which one must be careful not to summon too often, is that we are always ready and willing to help anyone who is in need, regardless of their faith, belief, or lack thereof.

While primarily started by a group of exmormons, we have made it our mission to help even those who firmly believe Joseph Smith was a prophet and the Salt Lake City-based LDS Mormon church with Thomas Monson currently at the head is God’s one true church or those Jehovah's Witnesses that hold the word that come from the Watchtower are what Jehovah wants them to hear. We are a diverse group that continues to grow as more people see the work we do, connecting with their own desires to change the world for the better. When interacting with those who think and believe differently than us, we try to be respectful. Helping other human beings is far more important to us than whether one has faith in the “correct” deity.

“When bad [people] combine, good [ones] must organize” --Edmund Burke

If you are in need of help, you reach us here.

If you are feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-784-2433.

If you are LGBT+ and need to talk, please contact the LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 or find them online here.

Know you are safe and among friends and we will do whatever we can to help.

Lastly, if you would like to be involved or volunteer, you can reach out to us here.

Tears in Heaven, Part II

“I have to remember that I’m not the old me. The new me realizes that I have worth in the world. And Gramps sees that worth in me." --Topher

This is Part II of the interview with Gramps and Topher. If you haven't yet, go read Part I first.

Question: Gramps, why were you so passionate about Topher? What made you want to move heaven and hell to help him?

Gramps: Through my teen years up to age 16, I lived on the edge of suicide. I had the plans in place and every detail worked out and I could have executed the plan in an instant. For me, it wasn’t like I wanted to die, it was just that I wanted the suffering to stop and I didn’t have any other options that I could make out; neither was there any hope for improvement. Fast-forward to 2017, I am keenly aware that Mormon kids in Utah are killing themselves and the situation appears to be worsening in recent years. The fact that LGBT kids are at the heart of the suicide epidemic really had me amped up. This was the backdrop.

Being new to Reddit and discovering my new /r/exmormon family, and realizing for the first time in my life that I am not alone, I began dealing with my old exmo stuff. I started posting and letting go of some old hurts that had been festering. Topher responded to one of my posts and publicly apologized to me and all LGBTs for being a hateful anti-gay bigot in his prior life as a TBM. Even before that moment, I had already started to notice Topher’s posts. He was extremely articulate and his writing was always on the mark. It was clear he spent a considerable amount of time and effort on /r/exmormon thoughtfully encouraging others and helping them work through their issues. Topher was obviously a millennial and he bowled me over with his compassion and the level of maturity he exhibited.

That’s when I decided to take a closer look at Topher and his earlier posts that came before me. Holy fuck, Topher was going through some awful shit since having made his honest declaration of non-belief to his family. His parents were basically “tough loving” him by bitch-slapping him, kicking him in the balls and breaking a few ribs, together with non-stop shaming and guilting. Topher was severely depressed and drowning in a dark pool of hopelessness. He had been abandoned and betrayed by those he loved. But even with everything he was dealing with, Topher still managed to show daily compassion and extend his hand to fellow exmos. I knew Topher was amazing, and I also knew he needed help, so I put a hot-link to his /r/exmormon posts on my desktop where I could easily jump directly to and monitor his communications.

I reached out to him on a personal level and eventually volunteered to be his surrogate grandfather, if he would have me. Maybe I could help fill the gap that had been created when his family had tossed him in the trash. He cautiously agreed and I shared my private contact information with him; he didn’t reciprocate. In my mind, I couldn’t escape this feeling that my outreach to him had this creepy-old-man-stalker vibe to it; I understood his reservations and I realized it would take time to build trust. Fuck. Saving another Mormon life here--that was all I could think about--it was worth risking looking like I was some stalker.

Question: Topher, what made you trust Gramps? Why did you let him in?

Topher: To this day, I’m not entirely sure I have an answer for that. I mean, here’s some random guy, who I’ve never interacted with, that is so passionate about my situation that he’s offering to fly out here just to have a chance to help my brother navigate being gay and in the church. I guess that could raise some red flags for some people, but I didn’t feel any. Gramps says he was worried about coming off as a creepy old man, and he’s right that I didn’t reciprocate my personal contact information. But it wasn’t because I was leery of the situation. It was because I was still in the depths of depression. I didn’t want anyone to notice me. It would be easier to die and not have anyone hurt this way. I’m ~99% atheist and don’t believe in a hereafter, but I feel that humans can connect on a subconscious level. I don’t know how or why, but I immediately trusted Gramps.

After reading Gramps’ response to why he was so passionate to me, I’m tearing up. I tried so hard to hide my pain. Though I felt like I was free, I was bound by my old Mormon way of thinking. Bound tighter than I could imagine. I felt like I couldn’t help people unless I proved that I had no pain. That I had conquered the very thing that I was trying to help people conquer.

As far as the passion we feel for each other now, I think you’ll come to understand that we just have some sort of innate connection; one that is hard to put in words....

Question: After that night, describe for us your relationship development and how you got to where you are today.

Gramps: Did I message him the next day? Or did he? Numbness and anxiety prevent my total recall of those events. All I remember is that somehow, mid-way through the following day, there was contact… and the immediate flood of relief that came with knowing he was alive.

Topher: That’s about as much as I remember too. I spent the rest of the night on the mountainside. At some point the next day I remembered there were probably people worried about me. Not my family, of course, but people that would soon become my family...

Gramps: Soon after that night we switched from Reddit PM to SMS which of course means that Topher trusted me with his phone number. Cautiously and tentatively, we began to share with each other the details of our lives. We talked by phone and for the first time heard each other’s voice. We shared life experiences; we raged about TSCC. Together we navigated both the down times and the up times. We laughed; we cried. Text messages flew back and forth by the thousands (thank gob for unlimited plans). At some point I realized that Topher has become part of my psyche; never out of my mind for even five minutes. I’ll be reaching for my phone to text him and before I can pick it up, I’m receiving one from him. That’s how our days are. As the first light of morning breaches the mountain, Topher’s text tone sounds… “Hi there.” We share songs and playlists that speaks to our souls and our common suffering and joy. Our relationship is still new and developing, yet we’re communicating on a different level now… like we’ve known each other all our lives. Sometimes I know he’s having a bad patch; I can just feel it without him telling me. I’m reminded of a line from Sense8 which I can only quote loosely, but which describes so perfectly how it is with me: “I can feel his pain. It’s only bearable because the alternative is not.”

Topher: To this day, I’m not fully “cured” of my low self-esteem. More days than not, I feel like I’m a burden on Gramps. I feel like I should tell him thanks for what he’s done, but I’m not worth any further effort. But, I have to remember that I’m not the old me. The new me realizes that I have worth in the world. And Gramps sees that worth in me. I’ve never even seen Gramps in person, but I love him mightily. He knows me, can feel my mood. He’s absolutely right. Texts all day. Good times and bad times. So thanks, Gramps. You’ve changed my life in a way nobody has before. Words aren’t enough to describe this emotion I feel. So until we raise a glass together, a Delta sunset behind us, I love you Gramps.

Gramps: Now, Topher has a safe place to live where he isn’t constantly being abused and made to feel “lesser” by righteous Mormons. His self-confidence grows stronger each day. He excels at his job and has been rewarded with more than one promotion. We share and celebrate these achievements together. He is so brilliant and smart, so capable and compassionate, so funny and fun-loving. He has always been these things, but he lost his confidence along the way. He was told repeatedly by family and friends that he was a worthless apostate fuckup for leaving the church… and he started to believe it. He just needed someone to believe in him and tell him so and walk with him.

I came to /r/exmormon looking for answers after walking away from the church decades ago. What I found here exceeded my wildest expectations. I found a community of like-minded individuals that is understanding and supportive. I found exmormons who swear like sailors, talk openly about sex, and drink coffee, beer and wine. I found people who are allies to LGBTs and are not afraid to say so. I found people who understand me; people who feel my pain and know it personally. Peace has never seemed within reach, but here, it feels possible. And then I found Topher.

I can’t find the words to convey how much I love him. Sometimes I just shake my head in disbelief over the inability to comprehend the events of the last three months. I love him so much. I’m a fucking gay childless grandpa and I love my grandson so much! Want to hear another surprise? Topher gives to me and my life as much or more than I do to him. My heart is so full it’s just gonna BUST.

Topher: Well, I don’t know that I give as much to Gramps as he’s given me. He’s helped me become the master of my ship, so to say. Since he’s come into my life, I’ve been promoted three times at work, a third one in the near future. I’ve moved to a new, safer place to live. I’ve been steadily losing weight and becoming more loving of myself. Gramps credits this all to me being my awesome self. But I’d be so much less of a man, or dead on a mountainside, without him…

I write poetry sometimes. I think it’s kinda lame, but Gramps seems to like it. So, here’s a poem that I wrote about us.

"Lost and alone.
Drowning in my pain.
Searching for a home.
Cold, wet, in the pouring rain.
A lost little boy, yet full grown.
So angry, so hurt.
No words, just a moan...
I'd had enough,
It was time to go.
My heart so rough.
Wanted to die, quick or slow...
In my darkest hour,
There was a light!
It gave me a sense of power,
Just enough to sharpen my sight!
I thought about pushing you away...
But, you seemed here to stay?
I was so close to leaving this Earth.
But you, you gave me another birth...
Texts, calls, a little self worth?
I thought I was nothing,
But to you, I was something
I was strong, compassionate, loving and...and...
And I was so far away...
So far away, yet you held me near!
I thought, how could he love me?
I had so much darkness and fear...
Yet, you held me near"

So, that’s a brief glimpse into our saga. It’s a crazy one, that’s for damn sure. We’d like you guys to ask any questions you may have and we’ll try to answer as best we can.

Some fun facts:

My average number of texts per month have gone up from just under 1000 to right around 4500.

Gramps has the most adorable old gay man voice. Absolutely the best!

Tears in Heaven, Part I

“[P]eople were responding with compassion and trying to help, each in their own way. Talking to myself again, I said 'You’ve been afraid it might come to this and here it is. You only get one chance to help Topher. Don’t fuck it up.'" --Gramps

This is an exchange between Gramps and Topher originally shared here. Please read to the end.

Topher: One random 21 year old kid in Utah and one random, old-ass (he’s gonna kill me for that one) man in California. He’s absolutely spot on; he did save me and here is our story.

My old Reddit username is /u/Topher1218. Shortly after Gramps and I met, I retired the Topher account and started my current /u/YourCreepyBishop account. The nickname Topher kind of stuck and that’s what Gramps calls me now.

Gramps: Still relatively new here on Reddit, I have been lurking and posting as /u/DeltaDaze for a few months. Meeting Topher in this forum, the subsequent events of that night, and the whirlwind months since have been so remarkable, so moving, so life-changing, we both agreed we needed to share this experience with our /r/exmormon family.

Question: Obviously there’s an elephant in the room. Tell us about that night.

Gramps: “I want to kill myself” is what his post read. My heart stopped. I read on:

Topher: “I’m so done. I’m alone. No family, no friends. Leaving the cult took everyone from me and left me stripped of the dignity and respect of the closest people in my life. Fuck the cult. Oh, sure, people are going to say they care. And that they “want to talk”. Want to make things better. But ya know what, when you die, nobody but your family even remembers you after a week.”

Gramps: “No, no, no! This can’t be happening. Topher, I thought you were doing better! WTF happened?” I thought to myself. He had attempted suicide before and his tone told me he wasn’t kidding around. The discussion had already been going about an hour already and I was late! A Tapir Signal had gone up and people were responding with compassion and trying to help, each in their own way. Talking to myself again, I said “You’ve been afraid it might come to this and here it is. You only get one chance to help Topher. Don’t fuck it up.”

Adrenaline was pumping and I tried to calm my mind so I could think and process as I read my way through his post, the comments and replies. What is going on here? I read through them all again. People were showing tremendous compassion and giving good advice and telling him that things would get better; they always eventually get better. Why aren’t these good people reaching him? His responses were mostly dismissive or borderline unresponsive; he was short and abrupt. People seemed to be saying all the right things but they weren’t getting through. I read through it all one more time and then I jumped in. I took the elements from his post and the replies and fixed on the elements that were tormenting him and started talking to him specifically about each one.

Gramps: “Topher, it sounds like you’ve hit rock bottom. I know you’re sick of faking it, and you’ve been abandoned. It hurts like a mother fucker. There is a way out of this swamp. We need to get you somewhere you can breathe fresh air… non-mormon air. There are other possibilities… you just can’t see them right now. Please talk to me.”

Topher: “Hey Gramps. I don’t know why, but fuck, I broke down reading your message. You’re right, I need to get my head above water.”

Gramps: “So good to hear from you. Fuck. Wish so badly I could take your pain away. You don’t deserve this. We will get through this. PM me…”

Gramps: Under Reddit private messaging, the dialogue continued. I told him it fucking sucks being abandoned by the very people that are supposed to have his back. I told him I knew suicide and that it had nearly claimed me as a teen. He started talking more and venting. He already had my phone number and email and I told him he could reach me day or night no matter what. We communicated for what seemed like a few hours. He was still very dark, angry and hurt. I listened; I commiserated; I told him we were in this together. And then he went silent. Terrified, I gripped my phone and stared at it for another hour; no “bling” of an incoming message. He didn’t respond to my continued messages and it was obvious he was done. With the absence of phone communication, I channeled him directly with my brain and soul; I focused all my energy on reaching him: “Topher, if you can hear me, I’m holding you close right now. Can you feel my love? Let my love comfort and heal you. Let it wrap you up and keep you warm. I’m here and I will keep you safe.” I sobbed and paced the floor the remainder of that sleepless night. Had I reached him? Had I done any good at all? I didn’t know...

Topher: Had I known the anxiety that my sudden lack of communication was causing, I would’ve been right back on the phone. But I could only think about myself. I was so tired, so done. All the pain of losing my parents to their religion was overtaking me. I couldn’t think straight. I was in fight or flight mode; and I was done fighting. The primal need for relief was eating my soul. What I’ve never told Gramps is that I went up the mountain that night, wrote a note to my immediate family, along with a note to Gramps, and swallowed some pills, washing it down with burning gulps of liquor. What nobody knows until now, is that I stepped off the precipice. And the scary thing is, I felt relief. I wasn’t going to wake up for another painful day. I was free.

Gramps: The pain of knowing what I didn’t know about that night… it’s crushing my heart. All I can do is sit here and sob. I fucking failed.

Topher: Gramps didn’t fail. Almost immediately after feeling relief, reality set in. I was going to die. And leave behind people that were just trying to help me. Death wasn’t going to bring relief, letting someone into my life to help me was. I forced myself to throw up time after time, until I was sure everything was out of my stomach. Gramps will someday come to peace with the fact that he did, in fact, save my life. It may have not been a “in the nick of time” movie moment, but life isn’t Disney. I owe my life to Gramps.

Checkout Part II here.

Endlessly Optimistic

“I don’t know if I would be physically hurt, but I do know I would be disowned,” --C

It’s hard enough navigating your sexuality and gender identity when you’re 18. It’s even harder when the church you were born and raised in considers anything other than cis and straight a sin.

That’s why C is in need of help. Located in Houston, Texas, C is trying to find affordable housing near the University of Houston before they come out to their parents. C uses gender neutral pronouns and knew from a young age that they weren’t only attracted to women like the Mormon church says they should be. Coming out to their parents could be devastating.

“I don’t know if I would be physically hurt, but I do know I would be disowned,” C told us.

C’s family are strong Mormons. Their mom is an LDS convert and dad comes from a long line of Mormon pioneer stock. C, though, began to mentally drift away from religion in middle school, and had to lie and go through the motions to keep their parents happy. Any time C pushed back against Sunday School teachings or seminary lessons, they were ridiculed or verbally abused. On top of the stranglehold of the church, C was also navigating mental health issues, including anxiety and depression.

It's taken time, but C has managed to set up their escape route. They shook off pressure to go on a mission by using a patriarchal blessing to convince their parents that college was the right choice instead. They managed to escape BYU by secretly applying and being accepted at a university close to home.

This fall, C will embark on a Communication major and Education minor. They are already working and have money set aside for textbooks and some living expenses. Tuition is covered by scholarships. All that’s left is for C to find affordable housing and a way to pay for that, utilities, and other living expenses.

If you have any leads on housing or are willing to help out, please let the Tapir Signal folks know! Or visit C's GoFundMe page.

After graduation, C hopes to go into public relations or advertising, and write the next great American novel in the meantime. They love writing and arguing – they were on the debate team in high school – and they were a competitive swimmer for years. These days, C likes reading and music and spends a lot of time volunteering, especially with disability advocacy causes. They’re an Eagle Scout and eager to start college.

“I think I need to find a way to be my own person and not the person my parents, and through them, the church, wants me to be,” C told us.

The Tapir Signal group has been a great help in that regard so far.

“Dozens of people have reached out and kept in touch,” C said. “It’s amazing to see the support.”

For more information on C and their journey, please see:

Original Reddit post asking for help

TapirBotHero signal post in response

Note from Tapir Signal: while the GoFundMe page says it was created by the Tapir Signal, all of the funds go directly to C.