"Oh God, are we going to have a bunch of stray missionaries camping in the guest bedroom?"--Random Dude
I’m u/Writergal1421, and I’m a little different than your average Tapir Signal volunteer. Round these parts, I’m what you’d call a “nevermo,” meaning I’ve never been a Mormon.
In fact, the closest I’ve ever been to the LDS church was dating a Mormon boy in high school. Religion didn’t actually factor in too much, but every now and again he’d try to read to me from Nephi and I’d tune him out and do my actual history homework. Another time I visited his ward building and saw a painting of Jesus hanging out with some Aztecs. He was all proud to be explaining his beliefs and I was staring at this painting thinking, ‘You know that’s bullshit, right?’ We dated for nine months and broke up right before his mission for reasons that had nothing to do with religion and everything to do with him being weird.
I was raised Presbyterian, also known as “Methodist-lite” and “Baptist-but-with-drinking.” For various reasons, my family stopped attending church when I was thirteen and I haven’t been a part of any religion since. I don’t remember how I stumbled on the Exmormon subreddit two years ago, but when I did, I was hooked. I love, love, love reading stories of people who triumph over self-important bishops or successfully bring a family member out of the church with them. I read through all the posts and silently cheer you all on.
I also read the posts about LDS history and think how glad I am that I never took my ex-boyfriend up on his offers to take me to church with him.
And then there are the posts where all I want to do is hug the OP. There are the posts that talk about the subtle, and not-so-subtle, sexism, racism, and homophobia in the church. The posts about an unwed mother who was pressured into giving away her child, or the posts where someone was horribly abused or sexually assaulted and the church either looked away, or worse, protected the abuser. The posts where a teenager committed suicide or a family shunned their gay son or daughter. Those posts break my heart. I don’t know what it’s like to leave the Mormon church, but I do remember the heartbreak of leaving a beloved church community. I know how it feels to be rejected and condescended to and pitied. I know the feeling of being furious about injustice, and being unable to do anything to fix a broken situation.
But if I can’t fix it, I can at least help a little. If you didn’t notice from my handle, writing is kind of my schtick, and wouldn’t you know it, the Tapir team was looking for a few good writers to help out with the blog. (“I’m going to help the exmormons!” I told my husband. “Oh God, are we going to have a bunch of stray missionaries camping in the guest bedroom?” he asked. No, honey. Relax.)
For the past few months, I’ve been talking to exmormons about what aid they need and how the Tapir Signal has helped them. I write up blog entries based on those interviews so that others can lend a hand if they’re able, or know they’re not alone if they’re struggling. I write so that the people I talk to have a voice.
I’ve been privileged to talk with some wonderful folks so far. Their stories are incredible and their resilience and determination astounds me. Talking with C about how excited they were to start college was so fun, and I loved talking with Alex about her job and her cat. Like so many others, they’ve been dealt a rough hand but they keep shining on. It was an honor to be a part of sharing their stories.
Too often it seems like the church wants its members to sit down and shut up.
Screw that. Stand up. Shout out. I’ll help tell your story.
If you are in need of help, you can reach us here.
If you are feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-784-2433.
If you are LGBT+ and need to talk, please contact the LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 or find them online here.
Know you are safe and among friends and we will do whatever we can to help.
Lastly, if you would like to be involved or volunteer, you can reach out to us here.
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