"I once fought a unicorn that was trying to steal my child's lunch. It was epic!"--Denise
Hi! My name is Denise, (you’ll more often see me as eowyn_), and I am a TapirSignal volunteer.
When I first heard of something called the TapirSignal, I had been out of the church less than a year. The trauma and anger were still pretty fresh. Not so fresh that I felt like I had nothing to give, though. Reading through r/exmormon, it was the young ones that hurt me the most. The LGBTQ+ teenagers and adults who wanted to give up. The straight teenagers who felt rejected. The kids and young adults who had been forced from their homes without a clue about how to adult. The young people whose families refused to be happy for their children. I couldn’t help talking to them, offering to be a listening mom for people whose actual mothers couldn’t hear them. One conversation with a woman who was moving in with her boyfriend stands out to me. Her family was furious, and so no one had asked the usual questions: How did you meet him, what do you love about him, does he make you happy, have you found an apartment yet, all that jazz. So I asked. It was wonderful to see the answers. Happiness bubbled out of them like champagne out of a freshly uncorked bottle. And there, at the end: Thank you for asking all the normal questions. And it hit me-- I could do that. I could be good at that.
That’s the awesome thing about the TapirSignal, you see. Not everyone has to do everything. We all have lives that happen offline, and outside the ex-whatever sphere. So we take what we’re suited for. Some of us work with people who have suffered significant trauma. Some of us work with people who are local to us. Some of us do the logistical work, or the tech work to try and catch as many people as possible without someone having to be watching all the time. I like to be the mom. And somehow, when you put us all together, it starts to work.
Whether or not Christ was real, I find the ideal of him compelling-- that kind of love, sacrifice, and compassion moves me. What happens every day behind the scenes at TapirSignal is one of the closest things to that ideal I have ever seen. We’re not Great People. We get impatient, and frustrated, and sometimes we’re at a loss for how to help someone (although that happens less often the more volunteers we get). This is work, and it’s often hard and heartbreaking. In spite of all that, we keep finding ways to make a real difference in people’s lives. We let people know they’re loved. We help find solutions. We mourn with those that mourn. We party with people who need to celebrate. We shine light into places that others darkened. Together, we destroy nightmares. And it’s pretty freaking awesome.
If you are in need of help, you can reach us here.
If you are feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-784-2433.
If you are LGBT+ and need to talk, please contact the LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 or find them online here.
Know you are safe and among friends and we will do whatever we can to help.
Lastly, if you would like to be involved or volunteer, you can reach out to us here.
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