“It has been a really confusing thing for me. [In high school] I realized I didn’t know what my gender was, but I knew it wasn’t what everyone else thought it was.”
The Tapir/Sparlock Signal would like to welcome our new moderator, Allos! Get to know your new mod below.
Name: Allos
Pronouns: He/him, they/them
Ex: Mormon
Shelf-breaker: The November 2015 policy preventing children of same-sex spouses from receiving church blessings. “Which goes against the 2nd Article of Faith, ‘We believe that man will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgressions.’ About seven or eight months later, I was like, I’m done.”
Interests: Dinosaurs, science, rocks, spiders
Occupation: College student, part-time rock-licker
Gender identity: “It has been a really confusing thing for me. [In high school] I realized I didn’t know what my gender was, but I knew it wasn’t what everyone else thought it was. … I was either going to die as a Mormon girl or I would continue to live albeit with a big amount of shame and being disowned (exploring feelings as a nonbinary or male person).”
Early indications this Mormonism thing wasn’t going to work out: “I began reading about evolution. The more I learned about it, the more it made sense to me. I had discussions with my grandparents about evolution and the geologic time scale. They attacked the only thing that made life worth living for me. They attacked the only thing that made sense.
“The concept of the priesthood totally failed for me as well. My father wasn’t a good example of it. He was emotionally abusive and used the church, his testimony, and the Holy Ghost to justify his abuse. He would say, ‘You will not get sick or have complications.’ And then I would get sick or have complications. When he was called as a high priest, I wondered how was he not worthy enough for his blessings to work for me, but worthy enough to get called?”
Main beefs with the LDS Church: “LGBT Mormons would talk about how when they came out to bishops, they had to rely on leadership roulette. I couldn’t see myself continuing to exist in a church where emotional reasoning was more important than facts and statistics.”
Favorite dinosaur: Allosaurus
Reasons for joining the Tapir/Sparlock Signal: “A lot of the time, I felt really alone, like there was no help for me. There’s got to be plenty of people out there like me who are struggling, who are just as scared as I was as a teenager. I can help them.”
Signal duties: “I take a lot of the smaller cases – people asking for help finding housing or needing job searches. I’ve done a lot of Googling for those as well as starting to compile resource lists for future cases.”
Best part about being on the T/SS team: “People, when they get help from us, realize there’s someone there. They’re no longer shouting into the void.”
Hopes for the future of the Signal: “I would like to see Tapir Signal become bigger and be more recognized. We’re reaching out to more people and we have a lot more volunteers with different strengths. I’d also like to see more mental health resources.”
Parting words of wisdom: “There is a life outside of the group you want to escape.”
Tapir/Sparlock Signal is always looking for volunteers in a variety of areas including housing, employment, and other practical concerns as well as LGBT issues and suicide awareness. Contact us for more details.
If you are in need of help, you can reach us here.
If you are feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-784-2433 (outside the US, these calls are free via Skype).
If you are LGBT+ and need to talk, please contact the LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 or find them online here.
Know you are safe and among friends and we will do whatever we can to help.
Lastly, if you would like to be involved or volunteer, you can reach out to us here.
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