“Don’t be intimidated. There’s so much pressure on your back telling you to go [on a mission]. Think for yourself. Don’t let other people control your life. Have a plan.”
Sometimes the easiest way to escape a bad mission experience is to just not go in the first place.
Just be prepared for the fallout, LoganPwnz warns.
At age 17, the Tapir Signal volunteer told his parents that he was not going to spend the next two years of his life proselytizing. He’d never really had a testimony despite being born into the church and being baptized. When he began researching the Mormon church on the Internet, any belief he did have was shattered.
“The bishop knew I didn’t have a testimony. He kept trying to have one-on-one interviews with me and pressuring me. It was really uncomfortable,” Loganpwnz recalled. “I really did contemplate going just to satisfy my parents. [When I refused] they were very sad and angry. My mom cried non-stop for weeks.”
And once he turned 18, LoganPwnz’s parents kicked him out.
“It was kind of unexpected,” he said. “I was going to college at the time. I had to drop out because I had to get a full-time job. I had to sleep on some friends’ couches for a month.”
Little by little, LoganPwnz began to establish himself. He moved from his home to Utah in search of better job opportunities. He got hired and found himself a place to live. In the two years that followed, though, he didn’t talk to his parents at all.
“They kind of just threw me away, is the way I see it,” he explained. “It was really satisfying to see that I had made it on my own.”
Eventually, though, after time had passed and rifts began to heal, he got back in touch – “I matured a bit and decided it would be best to get that relationship with my mother. I didn’t want to not have my mother in my life,” he said. “As long as I don’t bring up religion, everything is fine.”
Being kicked out and struggling to find his feet has made LoganPwnz sympathetic to young people in the same boat – returned missionaries, those who refuse to go on a mission, LGBT members, etc. It was what drew him to volunteer with the Tapir Signal, where he lends a non-judgmental ear and helps others plan for leaving their homes.
“That was the hardest time in my life so far. I want to make it less hard for someone else,” he said. “I love to give back. If I’d known about Tapir Signal when I was going through my issues, I would have loved to have that kind of support.”
For kids staring down a mission, unsure if they should head to the Missionary Training Center, LoganPwnz has some advice.
“Don’t be intimidated,” he says. “There’s so much pressure on your back telling you to go. Think for yourself. Don’t let other people control your life. Have a plan.”
Tapir/Sparlock Signal is always looking for volunteers in a variety of areas including housing, employment, and other practical concerns as well as LGBT issues and suicide awareness. Contact us for more details.
If you are in need of help, you can reach us here.
If you are feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-784-2433 (outside the US, these calls are free via Skype).
If you are LGBT+ and need to talk, please contact the LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 or find them online here.
Know you are safe and among friends and we will do whatever we can to help.
Lastly, if you would like to be involved or volunteer, you can reach out to us here.
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