"I have warm fuzzy feelings at the prospect of Christmas that I never thought I’d have."
Alexandria’s got her Christmas plans pretty buttoned-down.
“All I want is to cook and bake and drink. That sounds like a pretty good Christmas,” she said.
And if that sounds low-key, that’s fine – this holiday season is all about baby steps, since it’s Alexandria’s first ever. She and her husband left the Jehovah’s Witnesses this summer, and they’re experiencing all of the holidays for the first time this year.
The JWs eschew all birthday and holiday celebrations. Christmas is on the blacklist because JWs believe they are supposed to commemorate Jesus’ death rather than birth, and because many traditions, like Christmas trees, Yule logs, etc., are rooted in pagan traditions. Many ex-JWs would also point out it’s because the members of the Governing Body are a bunch of Grinches, but that is not listed among the official reasons.
As a kid, Alexandria always knew that holidays weren’t allowed.
“I don’t remember there being a time when I didn’t know I was to be different. Being a JW was who you are and what you do, not a choice,” she said. “If I did feel envy of the other kids, it was usually disguised as judgement and feeling superior.”
But there was a small part of her that wanted to join in the fun.
“I think for both my husband and myself, Halloween has always been the one holiday that we really, really wanted to celebrate,” she said. “So even though we didn’t really have the intention of celebrating or decorating for the holiday, we did want to give out candy – and from there we felt like we wanted to decorate the house and we really got into it.”
(Author’s note: I’ve seen photos of the scarecrow Alexandria’s husband made. It was super-creepy. They did a great job.)
(Editor's note: reliability of Author is currently unknown. 😁)
Thanksgiving was easy and fun to celebrate, if only because she’s done it before. She attended two Friendsgivings and she’s looking forward to hosting one next year. Many JWs, Alexandria said, celebrate Thanksgiving in all but name. If turkey’s on sale, you might as well eat on a Thursday in November, after all. But for Christmas, she’s planning to step up her game.
“Lamb or pork crown. Mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, green bean casserole, pies and cookies,” she said, reeling off a menu that a Michelin chef would make Faustian bargains to cook. “I have homemade spiked eggnog that’s aging.”
She and her husband are celebrating with a friend whose wife and family are still full Witnesses, and a mutual friend who would have otherwise been alone that day. They’re probably not going to get a tree or do anything involving Santa, though.
“I’m not sure we’ll ever want a tree or Santa,” she added. “We simply don’t have the nostalgia for it, I think is part of it. But, Christmas is a holiday where even if you don’t observe, you get well-wishes, cards, and even gifts. I want to reciprocate. It’s nice to include myself, if I want to.”
Her get-together might not be a big celebration, but it’s a good way to mark her very first Christmas.
And if you want to get Alexandria a gift, please don’t start a war.
“I’m not big on expecting gifts. I just want to enjoy the holiday and get to bask in the love and attention,” she said. “World peace would be cool, though.”
If you would like to share your experience(s) about your first holidays after losing or changing your beliefs, you can contact us. Stay safe this holiday season.
If you are in need of help, you can reach us here.
If you are feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-784-2433.
If you are LGBT+ and need to talk, please contact the LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 or find them online here.
Know you are safe and among friends and we will do whatever we can to help.
Lastly, if you would like to be involved or volunteer, you can reach out to us here.
No comments:
Post a Comment