"I get to celebrate freedom every year on January 1. And the renewal of the lease on my apartment."
If this is halfway celebrating, look out for when DW goes all in.
DW’s enjoying her first Christmas tomorrow after 31 years inside the Jehovah’s Witnesses. She’s been slowly fading away for a year, quietly celebrating her birthday, Thanksgiving, and other holidays. Christmas is going to be pretty low-key, she said.
“I don’t think I’ll ever properly celebrate,” she said. “I don’t plan on buying decorations or a tree. It strikes me as a bit of a hassle. Rebuilding my life and psyche is work enough.”
For a long time as a believer, DW was afraid that God would be angry with her for going against his wishes like celebrating holidays and birthdays – even though she wanted to.
“In my mind it was pain to be endured for a higher calling. I couldn’t risk God destroying me over a cake,” she said.
If that just broke your heart (you’re not alone), fear not – DW has left that fear behind and her first Christmas season was fabulous. She attended a Victorian-themed Christmas party (everyone wore plaid), went to a meet-up to visit a huge local Christmas tree, did a gift-exchange with some fellow ex-JWs, and will be spending Christmas day with her still-believing family (just not, y’know, calling it a Christmas celebration).
She’s not sure whether celebrating any of the holidays will become an annual tradition, but the important part for her is having the freedom to participate or not on her own terms. She told her family last New Years Eve that she was leaving the JWs, “So literally this year has been my first year as a free person,” she said. That means her first birthday, Pride Parade, Thanksgiving, and a lot of other personal milestones.
“Leaving the JWs has been more about allowing myself to participate in these social occasions where people gather to bond and share good company,” she said.
So as we stare down the barrel of Christmas, this is our holiday wish for you, from all of us Tapir/Sparlock volunteers: We hope that you too are able to gather and share good company. We hope that the new year brings you peace and freedom, just like DW. We hope that you know that we care about you and want the best for you, and that, if you need us, we’ll be here.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
If you are in need of help, you can reach us here.
If you are feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-784-2433.
If you are LGBT+ and need to talk, please contact the LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 or find them online here.
Know you are safe and among friends and we will do whatever we can to help.
Lastly, if you would like to be involved or volunteer, you can reach out to us here.
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